Wednesday, February 22, 2006


Have you ever met someone absolutely special?
Someone you think is very unique because he doesn't behave like anyone else in this world?
There are some crazy, different, rebellious, eccentric,
alternative or very uncommon people and Daniel was one of them.
He lived in his own world, regardless of what people could think and never took himself seriously.
When you were in his company, you had to be ready for a roller-coaster ride!!!
You always knew in advance it would be so fun and exciting, unexpected and also risky...

He had his own ways to turn the conventions upside down and like Merlin, he was somehow a magician and an alchemist to turn life into a fantasy world .

Daniel would treat everybody the same. He could be friend to rich men as to homeless people. He was never scared to do something completely nuts!
He turned any animals or insects into human beings.
He would make oysters yawn, pigs laugh and beetles fight fot the Egyptian Army...
He could pretend to order a hamburger at the stamp-machine inside the post office in front a crowd of serious people waiting in line, he could dress up with women clothes inside a store, do the rain dance outside his house at night, act as a Vietnam war soldier in the middle of his living-room, and he knew Angels exist and could speak to them...
He was also a handsome and bighearted man.
He was generous with his friends and relatives and was taking care of elderly people, reading them stories and giving them affection.
He loved his home, his family, his pets and spending hours listening to music.
He was the one in my teenage years who made me feel special and has given me taste for good music and somehow foreign cultures .
Even though his outside world was full of beautiful colours, enchanted sounds and funny jokes, his mind was tormented by pain.
Like most human beings, what we show to the world is not what we really are deep inside.
We are all actors in the play of our life but his was a comedy that enlightened everybody who has been lucky to know him.

Daniel was my uncle and he left us ten days ago at the age of 49 years old after fighting so hard for four months against a brain cancer .
We all miss him so much because our life will never be the same without him, but I know that he is where he has always wanted to be and I know he is at peace now.

Fly high, Daniel, and may you bring to heavens all the joy you have given us down here.
I love you forever...

« Daniel.... Do you still feel the pain of the scars that won't heal?
Your eyes have died, but you see more than I, Daniel, you're a star in the face of the sky.... »
Elton John « Daniel »

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Today I was feeling blue, like we all can feel at times in our life. I had this feeling that everything turns out the wrong way, that nothing works the way it should and that the more it rains outside, the more sad events it brings to my life.
I lost a beloved relative last week, my mother is going through hard moments with her cancers and last weekend I had a serious argument with someone I love, which brought a definitve end to our relationship.
I've been feeling miserable inside, feeling my self-esteem at its lowest and my hopes reduced to ashes.
Am I somehow responsible for all those misfortunes?
Can I be a bad person at times?
Was I wrong to expect things to happen?
Deep inside my heart, I don't feel perfect but I don't think totally wrong either...
When it's time for doubts and questions, sorrow and pain, we should always keep an eye open to what is good in our life.
Whereas I was in the expectation for something to happen , life has taught me today that unexcepted events occur to give us hope and cheer us up when we most need it.
Even if our days are cloudy, there will always be sunshine or an Angel coming out.
Today was a blessing because this morning my best friend from Italy called me to ask me to be the Godmother of her son.

Today was a blessing because when I opened my casebook at school this afternoon a letter fell out, a sweet birthday card from one of my students.
Today was a blessing because I received a mail from an Irish friend I had lost contact with for more than 12 years.
Today was a blessing because someone I don't know and who lives in Nepal, where I will be volunteering this Summer, remembered my birthday and sent me a card.
Everyday is a blessing because I have a wonderful family , some beloved friends, some sweet students and lots of wonderful people who have crossed or will one day cross my path.
Sometimes we make mistakes, sometimes we don't do the right thing or say the right word, but life will always remember who you really are and there is always an Angel somewhere to look after you.

To all the people in my life, past, present or future and to my Angel I just want to say
"Thank You!!"

Sunday, February 19, 2006


Yesterday I turned 35 years old. It sounds like a serious age and some people call it the age of maturity and completeness. Strangely I don't feel as such. First I thought that maybe I am reaching the first half of my life but honestly speaking I know that this is not relevant. The older we get and the closer we are to death, we understand that life is never granted and can be taken from us anytime, anywhere and in anyway.What matters is the present day and the experiences we've had in the past that makes us who we really are.

Maybe the right question is : "Who am I?" But do we ever know or understand ourselves fully?
I am thinking of some life experiences I've had, what does it tell you, and what does it tell me?

  • Births: 2

The first one 35 years ago in France in an English hospital (by chance...) and the second time when visiting a church in Bergamo, Italy, 5 years ago.

  • Sisters and brothers: 2

Two twin sisters Naomi and Ludivine (I love you so!!!)

  • Jobs : about 7

6 summer jobs and 1 permanent : English teacher for the last 10 years (time flies...)

  • Years abroad : 2

1 in Dublin as an Au pair and 1 in Cork as a university student.

  • Students I've taught : an average of 1,900 (mmm... no, I don't remember all their names....)
  • Copies I've corrected: about 30 000! (how many red pens does that make???)
  • Activities practised: racing, horseriding, rowing, archery, playing the guitar, singing in a Gospel choir, Flamenco dancing, painting, photography, blogging...
  • Countries visited: 22 countries and 16 American States.
  • Marriage experience : None...
  • Children: None...
  • Living with someone: besides my family and students in Ireland, No one!!
  • Times I quit smoking : 7 (and 4 times in the last 4 months, any good advice welcome....)
  • People I killed : None! (except a spider by accident... sorry Dear...)
  • Languages studied : 9 but I can only speak 3....
  • Photo exhibition : 1 in July 2005 in Granada Spain.
  • Craziest experiences : Besides the normal routine.... 4!

a) sustaining a long-distance destructive relationship for 5 years, b) flying to San Francisco just to say good bye to some memories, c) spending 4 days in a California desert with a man I didn't know, d) Jumping out of a chairlift 4 meters high...

  • Missed planes : 1 (going to Finland)
  • Planes that never arrived to destination : 1 (going to Dublin...)
  • Cars owned: 6 ( 5 old ones and 1 unlucky new one...)
  • Car accident : 1 ( the unlucky one...)
  • Relationships that really mattered: 4
  • Passionate relationship :1
  • Unconventional relationships : 2
  • Long-distance relationships: 3 (are they related to the ones above? I would say yes...)
  • Experience of male cowardice : 3 (or more...)
  • Total regrets so far: I'm afraid NONE.... ;-)


I sit and I watch my clock running
Silent seconds of my heart beating
I tell my mind to stop thinking
Please be quiet... can't you hear him now?

I sit and I watch but my eyes can't reach
Over the skyline where my love should be
I tell my mind to stop searching
Please stand still.... can't you see him now?

I sit and I watch the memories of love
The first embrace and the sun above
I tell my mind to stop dreaming
Please stay awake.... can't you feel him now?

I sit and I watch the moon's shadows
Wondering where the precious time goes
I tell my mind to speak at last
Please, my love, can't you be here now?

To Shon.


The day is breaking and here I stand alone,surrounded all over by the deep blue sea.
In front of me spread stillness and infinity of skies, waves and far away stones.

How can't I feel more humble,as a human being, facing the creation of God?
What artist can excel such a beautiful lively painting where shapes and colours mingle and change constantly?
What contemplated masterpiece has more power to enlighten our sight and awaken our soul to a sense of greater freedom?

The day is breaking one more time with dark skies and a rainbow diving into the deep green.
Here I am watching through the large open window some stolen moments of life that don't belong to me: on the beach some lovers are cuddling to keep themselves warm, old couples in their duffled coats looking for seashells in the sand, families with children running around in their bright-coloured bonnets, and a lonely man is walking with his funny dog.
My body is still, powerless and only my soul can wander through the mysteries of the ocean kept under. At night, the roughness of the sea and the starry skies keep me awake and the waves dying on the rocks, on a permanent flow, sound like a never-ending pouring rain on the roof.
Time has stopped for a moment in my contemplation of life . What is out there is inside me. I belong to this world and this world belongs to me. My passing life, constant changes,vision of beauty and pain, my turmoils, all lies here on a small piece of earth called the" Boulevard de la Mer".